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Stepfathers Often Feel Like A Lottery Ticket |
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When one has not had a good father, one must create one..." - -Nietzsche
As usual, Nietzsche makes a profound point using both a sledgehammer and a slick sense of subtlety. Perhaps it's odd to quote a controversial philosopher like Nietzsche on Father's Day, but the two aphorisms I chose to include in this column would be perfect for stepfathers if only the first aphorism read as follows:
"When a stepchild has not had a good biological father, a stepchild must accept their stepfather."
I am sick and tired of stepfathers getting a bad rap within our culture. Movies like "Domestic Disturbance" portray stepfathers as killers. I'm not aware of any country singers honoring "Step dad and Home." Even some fathers' rights advocates write stepfathers off as no good.
To read the remainder of this article, click here Note: Found on Fatherville.com |
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Lessons from a Stepmother I Never Met |
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This past week my husband and I attended the funeral for his grandmother. We stopped at her house in small town Ohio to see my mother-in-law before the service, and found it teeming with relatives. After a whirling round of introductions, I found on the coffee table her obituary in the local newspaper. More than 60 people were listed as her direct descendants - including her natural children, stepchildren, grandchildren, step-grandchildren, great grandchildren and step-great grandchildren.
Reading her obituary was like reading a litany of love. Although I never met my husband’s grandmother while she was alive, it was evident that she loved many people – natural and step alike. Just like the house, the funeral home was crammed with teary-eyed relatives. Lovingly arranged photographs showed her with all sorts of family combinations over the years.
After she married their father, her stepchildren came to know her as adults. She never changed her stepchildren’s diapers or taught them how to ride a bike. They saw her working the family business beside themselves and their dad. During the funeral, her stepchildren sat with her natural children and wept as much as they did. Her step-grandsons were pallbearers alongside my husband and other relatives.
To read the remainder of this article, click here Note: By Dawn Miller |
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Stepmothers Bill of Rights |
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1. I will be part of the decision-making process in my marriage and family at all times.
2. People outside the immediate family - including ex-wives, in-laws and adult children - cannot make plans that affect my life without my consent.
3. I will not be responsible for the welfare of children for whom I can set no limits.
4. I must be consulted about which children will live with us, when they can visit and how long they will stay.
5. I will not be solely responsible for housework; chores will be distributed fairly.
6. I will be consulted regarding all family financial matters.
7. Others may not violate my private space at home, nor take or use my possessions without my permission.
8. I will never be treated as an "outsider" in my own home.
9. My husband and stepchildren must treat me with respect.
10. Our marriage is our first priority, and we will address all issues together. Note: by unknown author |
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When the Other Parent is Poisonous |
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Q. My stepson, who is four years old, goes to visit his real mother on weekends if and when she is available because she is constantly in and out of jail and has 86 felonies. These visitations do more harm to our son than good. When he comes back he is very sad and doesn't say a word for hours.
Note: by Dr. Noel Swanson |
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'When the Other Parent is Poisonous '  |
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Statistics on Stepfamilies in the United States |
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Stepfamilies are not addressed, assessed and counted---further catapulting those who live in and lead our society into the quagmire of ignorance. The numbers tell the story: The US Bureau of Census relates:
o 1300 new stepfamilies are forming every day.
o Over 50% of US families are remarried or re-coupled.
o The average marriage in America lasts only seven years.
o One out of two marriages ends in divorce.
o 75% remarry
o 66% of those living together or remarried break up, when children are involved.
o 80% of remarried, or re-coupled, partners with children both have careers.
o 50% of the 60 million children under the age of 13 are currently living with one biological parent and that parent's current partner. Note: US Stepfamily Foundation |
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'Statistics on Stepfamilies in the United States'  |
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DO IT IN 08 |
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Hopes, dreams, goals?
We all have some but often don’t know how to go about achieving them.
Sometimes we have so many of them that we get confused or overwhelmed before we even get to first base.
Sometimes we start, filled with great enthusiasm, but run out of steam long before we achieve any of them.
Sometimes we get discouraged and give up after the first setback.
Sometimes we don’t dare start at all.
Note: Admin |
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'DO IT IN 08'  |
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BLENDED FAMILY WORKSHOP TESTIMONIALS |
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H.S. (male)
Great workshop – very professionally run.
Excellent balance of teaching, sharing, discussion and couple work.
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S.A. (female)
A fabulous course that has given me and my husband a whole new perspective on blending our two families. It has provided us with an amazing amount of tools that we can’t wait to implement. So simple yet so powerful. Thank you, Sonja, for giving so much to us!
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Note: by admin |
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'BLENDED FAMILY WORKSHOP TESTIMONIALS'  |
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ARE YOU PART OF A BLENDED FAMILY? |
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MTV’S DOCUMENTARY SERIES –TRUE LIFE – WANTS TO HEAR YOUR STORY!
Did your new step mom or dad move in with kids of their own? Did the size of your family double in a day? Are you trying to befriend your siblings-to-be but doubting the outcome?
Well, MTV’s True Life wants YOU to tell our viewers what it’s like to be part of a blended family -- and -- how you plan on coping with the sudden changes to your life.
How does it work? Contact us at: blended@mtvstaff.com
Note: Admin |
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'ARE YOU PART OF A BLENDED FAMILY?'  |
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NEW STEPFAMILY SUPPORT GROUP - WA |
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A new step-support group has been formed in WA.
For more information and meeting details, please contact:
Step Family Association of WA
Racheal
Ph 0417961652
Webaddress:
http://www.stepfamilywa.websyte.com.au/site.cfm?/stepfamilywa/
Note: Admin |
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Single Parenting |
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Being a parent is tough. Raising a teen is really tough. Doing it alone can seem impossible. It’s easy to worry that you’re not up to the task: Will my daughter have a healthy self-image without a father in the home? Does my son feel too much pressure to be the “man of the house”? Can I handle this without a mate? To read the remainder of this article click here Note: Source: troubledwith.com |
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Sonja Ridden.com |
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Audio Lounge |
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Books We Recommend |
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Updated Feb 08

This book is now available world-wide
"Hell..p Im a Stepmother" by Sonja Ridden is a book of a different kind. The author speaks of her personal experiences and shares her step-struggles with honesty and integrity, thereby normalising the painful feelings that can accompany the step-journey. She also provides helpful suggestions for overcoming many step-obstacles. This book is a MUST if YOU struggle with YOUR step-journey.
FOR MORE INFO & HOW TO OBTAIN THIS AND OTHER HELPFUL BOOKS click here NEW BOOKS ADDED FEB 08
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Book Reviews |
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To read what reviewers are saying click here I just finished your book, ‘FANTASTIC!!’, I have recommended it to several other stepmums I am in contact with. The way you have written the book is so easy to read and understand, I know it has already helped me and will help many others. Thank you for writing it. To read more and what other step-parents are saying click here
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